Mental Health and Support

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Re: Mental Health and Support

Postby kojibear on Thu Jan 24, 2019 2:03 am

We usually have very little difficulty talking about our physical ailments, but when it comes to the pains of our mind, I guess we tend to keep them locked up inside. Maybe it’s a feeling of guilt or anger at ourselves for letting the situation that is causing the painful feelings happen in the first place. Maybe it is a hope that things will just get better if we wait. Maybe stopping to explore the feelings just brings the pain closer to the surface and makes it worse, so better to bury it. Maybe we think talking to someone and sharing our worries with them is selfish because we are just giving them extra stress making them worry about us. Maybe…well, there are a lot of maybes. I’m talking about myself here, naturally, and I will say that when I have talked about what is upsetting me, it has helped. The solution I know will need to come from myself, but I have found talking to someone about my stress is helpful. At the very least, it keeps the pain and worry from going to deep, where it will fester and grow and reappear even worse than before . When the feelings are on the surface I have found them easier to deal with, easier to act on.

Mental stress is something we all share, but each person’s stress is so personal, which makes it difficult for us to trust the empathy we receive from the person we choose to talk. This means we are very selective of the person we share with. As expats, we have had to leave behind some of our most trusted confidants behind – the friend or friends whose relationship we built during our youth that formed such a strong bond of trust. It’s just not the same communicating with him or her via email or Facebook. Not only that, we are experiencing stress that may be caused or made worse from our new home and environment.

But I think, I hope, that we are building new friendships here that we need to rely on more. So, guys, I am here with an ear to listen if you need one. And it is great to know that you guys are there for me, too.
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Re: Mental Health and Support

Postby me_in_japan on Thu Jan 24, 2019 7:23 am

Kbear has really hit the nail on the head with his comments. I think at some level we have all been providing psychological support for each other just by being there, but I also think it's good to explicitly acknowledge the stresses we all suffer from, and to feel free to talk about them. We all come from different countries, but simply by dint of shared experiences (we've all left our home countries and settled in a strange and foreign land, we're all wargamers of about the same age) we can empathise with each other in ways the folks back home simply cannot. I hope that moving forwards we can all feel able to talk about stuff that's bothering us, whether it's minor stresses or insurmountable impossibilities, either in person or online. I know that, despite the rarity with which I actually make it up to Nagoya in person, I actually rely quite heavily on this group for a dose of "normality", and I feel very connected to most of the members here. Hopefully I'll be able to get up to see you all a bit more this year (he said, optimistically...)
2018 totals
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acquired (bought or arrived via KS) : 0 sold : 4 painted : 15 money spent: 0GBP money in: 175GBP
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brushes, books, paint, etc
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Re: Mental Health and Support

Postby jus on Mon Apr 15, 2019 8:02 am

I'm thinking of quitting my job and moving to Tokyo. (Soon)

Nagoya has done alright by me. But like Bilbo, I really feel like I need to leave the comforts of Bag end and go on an adventure.

Quite anxious though. Is this really the best move? It's really keeping me up at night.
I'm thinking Gaba might be a good foot in the door gig to help settle in. Any advice would be welcome. Ta
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Re: Mental Health and Support

Postby Primarch on Mon Apr 15, 2019 8:38 am

jus wrote:I'm thinking of quitting my job and moving to Tokyo. (Soon)

Nagoya has done alright by me. But like Bilbo, I really feel like I need to leave the comforts of Bag end and go on an adventure.

Quite anxious though. Is this really the best move? It's really keeping me up at night.
I'm thinking Gaba might be a good foot in the door gig to help settle in. Any advice would be welcome. Ta


I don't know if any of us can tell you what the best choice would be, but if you are feeling like you want to change things up a bit, maybe you should.

What do you hope will be different in Tokyo? I know it's much bigger than Nagoya, but what are you looking for that cannot be found locally? What is it about Nagoya that you want thab leave behind? You don't need to tell us, but those are questions you should be able to answer for yourself.

Do you take many holidays? Maybe travelling for a period would be better than a full move?

I guess you're in a position where moving is a viable option. No mortgage, kids or property to worry about (that I know of anyway). Do you have enough saved up to fall back on? Tokyo has a reputation for being an expensive place to live. If I were you, I'd see about getting the job lined up first before moving. Make sure that you can give enough notice for your current work to be covered and to your landlord. Leave Nagoya on good terms and you'll find it easier to come back if you ever want to and get a good reference for future employment/accommodation if you need it.

At the end of the day, we only get one chance at life (as far as can be scientifically proven anyway), there is no sense in being unhappy if it is avoidable. If you feel the need to wander, and have no reasons not to, then go for it. You'll always have a spot at a gaming table in Nagoya if you come back to visit.
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Re: Mental Health and Support

Postby jus on Tue Apr 16, 2019 5:33 am

You'll always have a spot at a gaming table in Nagoya if you come back to visit.


Thanks! I appreciate it. Yeah all that makes sense. Words of wisdom wwll received
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Re: Mental Health and Support

Postby me_in_japan on Tue Apr 16, 2019 8:14 am

As Stu wisely said, it's important to ask yourself whether you're going from or going to. What is it about life in Nagoya that's leaving you dissatisfied? Would that be resolved by being somewhere else? If so, then you're going to somewhere - you have a clear goal. But, if you're thinking of moving away from something here, then the question becomes "wont the same thing happen in tokyo?" Obviously specifics matter a lot here, but as a general rule I've found that going to succeeds a lot more often that going from.

Are you going to be at Nagham this year? If so, I'd be happy to chat with you there :)
2018 totals
minis
acquired (bought or arrived via KS) : 0 sold : 4 painted : 15 money spent: 0GBP money in: 175GBP
Magic cards
bought: lots money spent: 343GBP
brushes, books, paint, etc
money spent: 0GBP
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Re: Mental Health and Support

Postby ashdevon on Tue Apr 16, 2019 5:58 pm

The key to maintaining your mental health is if you have a bad day, or month, year, 7 years. You can always start afresh and stronger. I can confirm that changing ones environment can be a great tonic but even then same issues will follow us everywhere until we confront them. Would you guys believe I miss the isolation now back here in UK. Its so noisy here and everywhere people are invading personal space. Asking what I think and feel all the time.
The key is balance. Finding the balance emotionally, scientifically or spiritually could calm the mind and quell worry.
Here are some favourite life quotes from Miagi. Japan can seem superficial at times but scratch the surface and there is that whole deeper core world to support you on your quest. Love is the answer.

https://youtu.be/RsVPrc9itYQ

I'm in bed hiding from the western world today due to a massive panic attack at work. Nothing too bad but I have to remind myself it's a blip. I'm not going back to feeling weak and sorry for myself again. Life is too short and full of wonder. Just been burning the candle at both ends lately.

I recommend karate, kendo, karaoke, golf, painting and exercise. All plentiful in Japan and readily accessible.
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Re: Mental Health and Support

Postby ashdevon on Wed Apr 17, 2019 11:16 pm

For anyone needing a quick chat for mental boost I recommend TELL lifeline or even better Samaratans. Always beneficial. I echo what MiJ was saying. Mental health clinics are quick to dish out the lithium and wish you well. Great for short hits of feeling OK but not a solution. Talking and sharing works for some not all. Hitting the gym or an exercise routine, something simple like cycling and walking or even jogging can heal our mind due to endorphin highs. Find the balance between work life and exercise is key though. Good luck all.
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Re: Mental Health and Support

Postby ashdevon on Thu Apr 18, 2019 12:12 am

Tell lifeline https://telljp.com/

https://www.samaritans.org/

Also alcohol can be a big problem in Japan. I went T total back in 2015 and now have the luxury of enjoying the odd drink on special occasions. It was difficult but worth it. I did it alone in the end.
Not used AA but I heard their Japan groups are very helpful for addiction in general https://www.aatokyo.org/
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