Single Gentleman of Nagoyahammer, there is work to be done..

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Single Gentleman of Nagoyahammer, there is work to be done..

Postby DarkElves>All on Wed Oct 23, 2013 10:56 pm

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Re: Single Gentleman of Nagoyahammer, there is work to be do

Postby Colonel Voss on Thu Oct 24, 2013 1:12 am

Speaking as a person who is doing omiai, yeah the expectations are high even for a foreigner.
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Re: Single Gentleman of Nagoyahammer, there is work to be do

Postby ashmie on Thu Oct 24, 2013 1:32 am

Edited: the rates of seedy love hotels debated. No conclusions drawn.


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Last edited by ashmie on Thu Oct 24, 2013 5:13 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Single Gentleman of Nagoyahammer, there is work to be do

Postby Spevna on Thu Oct 24, 2013 1:59 am

A week's wages? What kind of "seedy" hotels charge that much?

Love hotels charge about 10,000 yen for an overnight stay. That hardly breaks the bank for the types of people mentioned in the articles.

As for clubs and dancing, that's not really part of the culture here like it is back home.

A large part if it IMHO is that people don't want to do what there parents did. Men don't want to responsibility of supporting a family or feel that they can't. Women are choosing career over motherhood as they live in a society that makes doing both very tough.

Social networking is a problem as it makes friendship "easier" though I would argue far less real.
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Re: Single Gentleman of Nagoyahammer, there is work to be do

Postby me_in_japan on Thu Oct 24, 2013 3:44 am

Based on what I know of folks in my workplace, 20-somethings have no time to date. They work 6-7 days a week, go home, eat and sleep. This applies to male and female.

Based on my experience of Japan as a whole, I think it varies, but basically university students/new graduates do have a hope of meeting someone/dating. Once you're past about 25 (woman) or 30 (man) you're screwed. By that point you've embarked on a career, and if you choose to marry then the rest of your life will be set in stone thereafter.

Like the article says, it's insanely difficult to be a working mother here. Kaz is a prime example. Qualified teacher, passed the extremely difficult test required to be a public employee. Worked for a year, did well. Went on maternity leave and had 2 kids. Now, here's the tricky bit: teachers work 11hour days, often more. She would, ideally, while the kids are still pre-school, like to go part time. The law says no. I repeat: there is no such thing as a part time teacher with the same job as Kaz. She has the option of quitting her current job and applying to be a part time teacher. If she does, she can work less hours. She also loses all pension, health and other benefits. If she wants to go full time again once the kids are older, se has to once again take the extremely difficult public employee test (which many people take 5-7years to pass) and then re-apply for a job as a teacher.

Basically in this country you can either

a) stay at home and look after the kids (ie be a woman)
b) stay at work and never see your family (ie be a man)
c) skip a and b and do what the hell you want, work as you like, party and hang out with your mates.

And the government is wondering why the childbirth rate is dropping?

*edit* to be fair and give credit where it's due, the maternity benefits are very good here. 3 years leave, 2 months either side of birth full pay, 1 year after birth half pay.
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Re: Single Gentleman of Nagoyahammer, there is work to be do

Postby ashmie on Thu Oct 24, 2013 4:18 am

Edited
Cho hazukashi desu. I'm not accustomed to such grown up topics on public hobby forums. :D
There is truth in a lot of the above though.
I'm hoping that when pressed on these topics in the research people clammed up and saved face by denying all knowledge of such shenanigans.
Is sex really a taboo here now? I always had the impression it wasn't such a big issue for Japan like it is in the west. Perhaps that would explain the jaded view. What's the fuss kind of thing.
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Re: Single Gentleman of Nagoyahammer, there is work to be do

Postby me_in_japan on Thu Oct 24, 2013 5:42 am

I like love hotels! Sure, some of em are seedy, but some of em are really swish. If yer stuck in an unfamiliar city overnight, have a lady friend with you and need a place to stay, a nice love hotel is nae a bad idea at all.
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Re: Single Gentleman of Nagoyahammer, there is work to be do

Postby ashmie on Thu Oct 24, 2013 7:14 am

I like love hotels! Sure, some of em are seedy, but some of em are really swish. If yer stuck in an unfamiliar city overnight, have a lady friend with you and need a place to stay, a nice love hotel is nae a bad idea at all.


Oh aye, for sure. Nothin wrong with a hunka hunka burnin love now and then. Osaka has some very plush ones. Ah it makes me cry for my 20s and single life.
Alas I can't talk of such now, I am a respectable married man with kids so I know nothing of these things. :lol: :) I have little more than vintage wine and memories.

From experience I've never found sex to be a taboo here. Most girls see it as normal, why wouldn't they. I still think folks in the article interviewed were too hazukashi to kiss and tell.

I hope Kaz don't find out about these trips to unfamiliar cities with lady friends MiJ. (Joke) ;)
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Re: Single Gentleman of Nagoyahammer, there is work to be do

Postby Spevna on Thu Oct 24, 2013 7:58 am

I don't think it is an issue of embarrassment. People are genuinely just not interested in it. The amount of sexless marriages out there is mental.
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Re: Single Gentleman of Nagoyahammer, there is work to be do

Postby ashmie on Thu Oct 24, 2013 8:09 am

Amazing. I'm not sure how long I could last like that. Still once you have kids there are so many more things in life. I guess that's true love after all the romance. Back home it could be grounds for divorce.
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