In which Prim pontificates on his particular peculiarities.

Use this board for any non-gaming related topics. ゲーム以外の他の話題はこちらを使ってください。

In which Prim pontificates on his particular peculiarities.

Postby Primarch on Thu Oct 19, 2017 10:33 am

I'm not really sure what the purpose of this post is, but if anything, I'd say it's an attempt to get my thoughts down on paper as it were. Fair warning to all, this is probably going to be a long, rambling monologue, even by my own standards. It'll probably be more than one post I guess. Don't expect a TL:DR at the end either. :D Some parts may seem like a mid-life crisis, (which this may well be, who knows?), but this isn't a cry for help or anything. I'm - if not totally happy - at least content with my life and the hobby as it stands. I'm not about to drop everything and start cycling around central Eurasian countries or some such. At least, I don't think I am. ;)
I make no apologies for my grammar, syntax and over-usage of commas. This is all pretty raw and far from being a polished article or document.
Feel free to comment if you feel that something I post resonates with you or if you want to offer a counterpoint or debate something. Ask questions if you want. But if you're still reading this (why?), welcome to some of the inner workings of what could generously be called my mind. I hope you survive the experience.

For a while now, I have been trying to put my finger on what this hobby is to me and why it takes up so much of my time and energy. Would it surprise you if I said that ALL of my friends in Japan are gamers of one sort or another. Whether it's RPGs or Tabletop, I don't hang out with anyone who is unaware of or unrelated to my hobby. Whenever I have free time, hobby topics are usually what is occupying my brain. I'm cognisant of the fact that this probably isn't normal and in some (many, surely) ways it could be considered mentally unhealthy, but so far, so good. :roll:
So yeah, this passion of mine runs pretty deep and I'm not altogether certain why. Perhaps it doesn't matter, it simply is. At times it feels bigger than it should be, it's certainly the major cause for stress in my life. That could just be because I don't have much stress at work these days rather than an issue with gaming. There's nothing much to compare it to.

If you had asked me how I thought of myself prior to setting up this site, I'd have said that I was a gamer. I never really felt much need to paint, I had a fair amount of free time and I was getting in games of 40K two or three days a month with ease. I travelled as far as Kyushu for games of WFB and over the years I have taken part in small skirmishes with a handful of minis and massive multiplayer events with hundreds of figures on the tables. I like reading new rule books and trying out new systems. I don't play every system I'd like to due to time and budget reasons, but I do try to read through them to see what I think.
The first Nagoyahammer event set things off on a new course. I was regularly organising events, setting up days for gaming and generally working as more of an organiser than before. I purchased and built a bunch of terrain, made frequent trips to public centres to reserve spaces and I often wouldn't get a lot of sleep the night before the event due to anxiety. This entire site is an effort in encouraging people to get together and play. Although I do this less frequently now, whether it's big games of BA or a day of 40K, organising events takes up a lot of my time when I'm away from my hobby room.
I'm not sure when it started exactly, probably when I started doing more historicals, but at some stage I made a decision to paint everything. No more grey plastic or undercoats visible on the tabletop. That really had an impact. I couldn't just buy things and slap them together the night before a game. It took time to get stuff ready. At the same time as I was taking this swerve into the painting-zone, my gaming time was slowly eroding. People started families or welcomed new additions to them. My better half had a minor traffic accident, a result of which was that I started to spend more time at home. Though she has long since recovered from that, my hobby/home balance never shifted back. But hey, I have more time for painting. So am I a painter? I spend an inordinate amount of time at my desk compared to gaming tables. But no, I don't think I am a painter in the same way that say M_i_J is. I paint to have finished models for games (or not as you'll see), not for the interest in painting techniques or styles. I appreciate well painted figures, but I'm unwilling to devote the time to reach those levels and to utilise those skills.
As I said before, all my friends in Japan are connected to gaming somehow. There is certainly a social aspect to what we do. Solo-gaming isn't something I've put much thought into and online stuff doesn't appeal at all. I'm not really a social person though. I love the fact that to a large extent people on the trains or outside don't try to speak to me. I'm left alone to ponder what to write in massive, meandering posts such as this. You, fellow gamer, are the entirety of my social scene right now. I don't use social media, I have no time for it. I rarely head down to a pub, save for after a day of gaming. That time and money is of more use to me for hobby purposes. So I do this hobby as a social thing, but I'm not really a socialite. I feel lucky to have met such truly awesome people and to be able to spend time with them. If you have read this far, give yourself a pat on the back for being a great person. :D
Anyone who has seen my hobby room will probably say that I am a hoarder. It's a fair point and one which I freely acknowledge. I have always bought more than I can reasonably use. I think it is also fair to say that there is a certain level of obsessive/compulsiveness in my makeup. Collecting everything related to what I like isn't a new thing. I remember when Pokemon came out in the UK. The tag line was 'Gotta catch em all', as if it were somehow implying that people wouldn't usually try and do that anyway. :lol: Oddly, I have no problem selling on models if I have lost interest, but a while ago I threw out a humongous pile of bitz. Konrad could have been kept busy for decades with it. But it had to go and it was the most difficult thing I have ever had to do since leaving home and moving here. Every piece put into the bin bag was a dagger to my heart. I had ideas for those bitz. Plans for things I was going to do with them. And as each was thrown away, a dream was going along with it. Of course, some of this bitz had been in my collection for 20 years without me ever once following through on my plans, but that didn't stop things from stinging as I discarded those bits of plastic and metal. I can no longer remember a time when I wasn't staring up at a huge lead mountain.
Of course, being a hoarder isn't helped by the fact that I am also a dreamer. On any given day, I have an idea for a new project, another army, more terrain, something. I'd rather be in front of a computer ordering a new set of minis than in front of my workbench assembling something I already have. It's easier by far to buy something new than to ever actually get in a game with it. That doesn't seem to stop me from buying more stuff though. With Black Friday coming soon, I doubt my hobby budget will make it to the end of November without taking a massive hit. :? I know I don't need stuff, but I want it regardless.
Am I an enabler? I certainly seem to spend a noticeable amount of my time running people through new systems. I've shown people Saga, Malifaux, Bolt Action, Black Powder, Hail Caesar and more over the years. Quite a few of the games people play now can probably be attributed to/blamed on me. I'm a terrible influence in many ways. Similarly, if someone else shows me a game and I like it, I will probably rush out and buy a force for it. Or two. Or three. That doesn't mean that I will support a game just because I played it, but it does mean that more often than not I wind up being one of a small handful of people who play a particular system. I have armies I have bought because another player wanted to get something going. I have 2 armies for games just with Pikey that have yet to be assembled and I'm catching myself contemplating a third. :shock:

So, I'm not completely a gamer, an organiser or a painter. I hoard and dream of minis, games and projects. I enable others to do the same. But what am I? (If you said 'Insane' you wouldn't be far off the mark). Perhaps it is fair to say that I am all of the above and more besides. I am all the parts of my hobby without being any one thing specifically. :ugeek: I recognise some of the flaws in my character that it brings to the surface, but I doubt I will change, mainly because I don't want to. As I said, I am content in what I do.

So there you have it. A pretty immodest self-analysis serving only to massage my ego perhaps? A massively regrettable post that serves no function except to draw ridicule? There is more I want to write, I feel there is more to express.

The doors open on the left, please mind your step as you disembark from the ride.

End of act one.
Prims Painty Points > +924.5
Finished Minis in 2014: 510.....Finished Minis in 2015: 300
Finished Minis in 2016 (as of Nov 30): 369 + 2 Tables of Terrain
User avatar
Primarch
Evil Overlord
 
Posts: 9063
Joined: Fri May 14, 2010 9:33 am
Location: Nagoya

Re: In which Prim pontificates on his particular peculiariti

Postby jus on Fri Oct 20, 2017 9:14 am

So there's this theory called the theory of averages? An idea first popularized by psychologist Jim Rohn that goes like this: "you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with". If your five closest friends are all table top hobbyists then chances are you will be too. If the five most influential people in your life are all into weight lifting and eating right, then chances are you won't be unfit.

I think this theory can quite accurately account for certain behaviors in a person's life. I know it certainly does for my life. For example, for me none of the people who are most influential in my life play war games.. Which may well account for my often times lack of presence on this forum and events. I still like 40k, but it didn't dominate my life (...as much as it did before.) I did however convince a really good friend to start reading the horus heresy series, which I think he is enjoying. Will he ever pick up warhammer? Probably not. If I'm the only one he knows playing it.

Apart from the occasional table top War game, I'm currently into pc gaming, working out, getting back into piano, and competitive smash brothers, and all of those things due in no small part to those who influence me. I recently hosted a super smash brothers tournament with a friend, and write was it a blast! I happened to make it to the semi finals even. All that to say that through this event I was able to meet new friends, who may in turn enable me to try new things. You know, grow and adapt as a person and all that jazz.

To answer Primarch's question " what is he?"..I'd venture to say that you are the average of the 5 (or so) people who you spend the most time taking to. All of which as you have mentioned, are on this forum and all play war games. Not that that is a bad thing at all! Table top war gaming and collecting miniatures is a noble pursuit and there are far more sordid and unsavory things a person can be into, like pachinko or gardening for instance. However, why not find someone to try something new. Strange and wonderful things might just happen .I mean, just Look what happened badruk.

In the mean time...how about some 40k? Haha
User avatar
jus
Moderator
 
Posts: 967
Joined: Wed May 19, 2010 4:11 am

Re: In which Prim pontificates on his particular peculiariti

Postby Primarch on Fri Oct 20, 2017 9:48 am

@Jus - That... makes a lot of sense actually. Well, except for that 40K thing, that's just crazy talk. (For now anyway, who knows what the future may hold :D ).

So it's not me who is at fault, it's clearly everyone else. Personally I always suspected that Koji and Pikey had bizarre Kiwi Mind Control powers. :lol:

Seriously though, I can certainly see it now that you mention it. As my circle of friends has changed, so have my interests. Though it's a bit chicken and egg in that I wouldn't be hanging out with gamers if I wasn't a gamer myself. Hmm. This psychology stuff is tough. Still, it's something to ponder.

Thank you for taking the time to read all my waffle and to formulate a thought-provoking reply.
Much appreciated.
Prims Painty Points > +924.5
Finished Minis in 2014: 510.....Finished Minis in 2015: 300
Finished Minis in 2016 (as of Nov 30): 369 + 2 Tables of Terrain
User avatar
Primarch
Evil Overlord
 
Posts: 9063
Joined: Fri May 14, 2010 9:33 am
Location: Nagoya

Re: In which Prim pontificates on his particular peculiariti

Postby Primarch on Tue Oct 24, 2017 9:09 am

Please hold on to the safety rails and keep your hands inside the vehicle at all times.

...So, I guess I can't easily pigeonhole myself into one category or another, despite my best efforts. Should I care? I dunno. It kind of bothers me that I can't, though it makes no discernible difference whether I apply a label or not. I guess if I could place myself squarely in one camp or another it would give me a bit more of a sense of where to go next. It's kind of a dumb goal though, like trying to base your personality on your blood type or star sign. But still, definition seems somewhat elusive for now.

I mentioned in the first post that I am not completely happy with the state of my hobby. I'm sure this is just a case of First World Problems more than anything else. :D

One of the amazing things about modern life is our ability to see things from all over the world. What people play in the US. The terrain Australians play on. The preferred rules for playing different periods in Europe. The internet has truly brought everyone closer together, or at least allowed us a peek into everyones' lives. It has also, at least in my case, raised expectations far above what they probably ought to be. CMoN, Lead Adventure, DakkaDakka and the rest offer a wealth of pictures and images of beautiful minis doing battle across the most gorgeously prepared tables. And I look at what I have and what I can do and I feel a little like I have let myself down. If you spend enough time looking at great things on the internet, it sets unrealistically high expectations of what you should be doing yourself.

I would love to be able to play games on sculpted, 3D terrain boards. I have one, my D-Day board (I haven't actually played a game on that myself yet. :cry: ), but looking at the space it takes up, having terrain like that for all the games I play is highly unlikely to happen. Grass mats are ok, (I'm not a fan of the mouse mat cloths to be honest. They feel a little flat to me.), but full terrain boards are my ideal. But I don't have time. Or room. And there is no way to transport them anywhere without seriously imposing on someone else.
The same goes for the rest of the terrain. I have a fair sized collection, but storing it, moving it and having enough to set up the tables I dream of playing on is still outside my current reach. What I have should be enough for anyone, but...
And armies? Don't get me started on those. ...too late. It's no secret that I tend to go big on everything I do. Need a crew to play a game? I get three. A platoon of infantry? Why not a company? A few Brigades? A corps sounds better. Of course, this is great when I do run big games. Players get a spectacular game filled with forces they probably wouldn't think to get for themselves, which is a side of what I do that I love. At the same time, I feel limited in terms of how much I have done, which is obviously nuts because I've got so many armies. Again, unrealistic expectations.

Search online for a minute for Napoleonics or the like and you will find pictures of people recreating Waterloo, Gettysburg or Agincourt with thousands of figures on the table. They're usually team efforts put on at big shows by groups with decades of hobbying between them. Try as I might, I just can't see that happening for me short of upping sticks and repatriating myself to an area with that kind of community. Yes, I am aware of 6mm. I still can't see it. Some Dark Ages stuff like Fulford with fairly generous men:model ratios is achievable, but we'd need to double the Nagoyahammer playerbase and get them all involved to do Napoleonic battles justice I think. That's not meant as a criticism of anyone else. We all like different things, be it Grimdark, Fantastical, Historical or something else. That's part of the fun of the hobby, seeing what other people are doing. It's also the reason for my discontent. I want to do too much.
So despite my best (or worst depending on your view) efforts, I feel like I am not living up to ly own expectations in some way by not having enough figures to refight every major battle in the history of the world (not to mention other worlds). I am quite aware that this is a level of craziness that surpasses belief.

For me, this hobby is very driven by aesthetics. A nice set of rules is important in choosing a game to play, but it's the appearance on the tabletop that does it for me. I don't care if two armies are functionally similar so long as they are visibly different in appearance. It's one of the reasons I have so many Bolt Action armies. BA lists tend to be fairly similar unless you make a real effort and the rules differences between armies are minimal. But British, American, German and Russian troops all wore different shades of green and different uniforms. :cry: Gotta catch 'em all.
There is also a drive for accuracy in what I do. Unit X didn't fight in that battle, so I need Unit Y. I am no fan of proxys, which is a major handicap in my efforts. So ultimately my target is everything and I won't accept anything less. Great. That's a recipe for a mentally healthy, fulfilling life of relaxation and joy.
The worst part. I'm fairly lazy. :lol: :lol: :lol: I could achieve more, and I have when I have been under pressure to do so (usually in the run up to events), but on any given day I'm as likely to waste time instead of picking up a paint brush or a pair of clippers and a sprue.

Um... So that was fairly cathartic. They say the first step is admitting that you have a problem. Nobody ever really says what the next step is though. :lol: Alcohol perhaps? Unless that is the problem :? . Anyhoo enough of listing my self-imagined shortcomings and meandering twaddle for now.

Thank you for flying with us. We hope you had a pleasant journey.
Prims Painty Points > +924.5
Finished Minis in 2014: 510.....Finished Minis in 2015: 300
Finished Minis in 2016 (as of Nov 30): 369 + 2 Tables of Terrain
User avatar
Primarch
Evil Overlord
 
Posts: 9063
Joined: Fri May 14, 2010 9:33 am
Location: Nagoya

Re: In which Prim pontificates on his particular peculiariti

Postby ashmie on Wed Oct 25, 2017 8:41 pm

Great posts Prim. It's always good and very healthy to challenge who we are and think about what we do with the short time given. In answer to your question who am I, I would say you are different things to different people. A husband, a gamer, an English teacher abroad, an intellect and a gentlemen.
Although I didn't always go to the same level of obsession over the hobby that I wanted to I did get a hell of a lot of good games in during my time in Japan and that was largely down to your efforts with putting on events and encouraging the hobby in all of us.
Keep doing what you do, keep being you and don't feel you have to pigeon hole yourself into any illusion of what society dictates as normality. There is too much focus on curing autism, anxiety and depression these days imho. What is wrong with being an individual? Nothing. It's what brings about change and innovation.
Most folks get by with living some compromise that makes life work for them so be happy with the niche you have carved for yourself. We all want to belong and to be part of something and sometimes a gaming group can be just the thing. Japan and living as an ex pat can be a very isolating experience even at the best of times. This group has been and was a lifeline to me when I was over there and I hope it's still here in forum or physical for many years to come.
I think true happiness comes from looking at what you have and what you have achieved rather than beating yourself over the head with a society mallet about what the Jones' are up to or what some gaming group the other side of the world is doing. :)
I've been taking some mindfulness courses which have allowed me to focus on the present. It's basically a westernised simplified version of zen and meditation but I can't recommend it enough. Not sure how spiritual you are but there is no harm in asking God for help, or if you are atheist your inner peace/strength and zen, friends. Go for a walk or do some exercise to release the groggy feeling. I always felt better after hanging with Dave and you guys so spend more time with people if that helps. Is there anything your wife and you can do as a new hobby maybe?
Anyway enough of the advice. I would say be proud of who you are and your hobby. The events at Nagoyahammer have been the best events I've attended. Pick your game, keep it simple and do what is right for you. Don't worry about people pleasing all gamers. Book the events and they will come.
Namaste. May the force be with you. Always. :)
Ash
Last edited by ashmie on Wed Oct 25, 2017 8:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Forget about yesterday, don't worry about tomorrow because all that matters is today.
Maggots Michael, you're eating maggots.
User avatar
ashmie
Wargod
 
Posts: 2757
Joined: Mon May 17, 2010 9:08 am

Re: In which Prim pontificates on his particular peculiariti

Postby ashmie on Wed Oct 25, 2017 8:49 pm

Go for Ramen. That's what I always did when I was soul searching ;)
Forget about yesterday, don't worry about tomorrow because all that matters is today.
Maggots Michael, you're eating maggots.
User avatar
ashmie
Wargod
 
Posts: 2757
Joined: Mon May 17, 2010 9:08 am

Re: In which Prim pontificates on his particular peculiariti

Postby ashmie on Wed Oct 25, 2017 8:59 pm

Pretty sure I've shared this before but hey it's always a good one for morale

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEC7dsFlvIE
Forget about yesterday, don't worry about tomorrow because all that matters is today.
Maggots Michael, you're eating maggots.
User avatar
ashmie
Wargod
 
Posts: 2757
Joined: Mon May 17, 2010 9:08 am

Re: In which Prim pontificates on his particular peculiariti

Postby Primarch on Wed Oct 25, 2017 10:05 pm

Thanks for the response, Ashmie, and thanks for the link.

I'm not really a Ramen person, do you think Gyoza would be a decent substitute? :D

You raise some good points, it's best to be ourselves and not what we feel we have to conform to being. That mindfulness concept seems pretty interesting as well. Maybe I should look into that.
Keeping up with the neighbours is really difficult in our hyper-connected, online-all-the-time world. Rationally I know it's self-destructive in the long run. At some level though, I feel that the grass is always greener somewhere else. (Perhaps due to the brand of flock they are using?). You're right though, nothing wrong with being an individual.

Anyway, thanks again for the comments. I'm going to keep rattling the old noggin and see what else shakes loose. Always good to clear out the dust and cobwebs every now and again.
Prims Painty Points > +924.5
Finished Minis in 2014: 510.....Finished Minis in 2015: 300
Finished Minis in 2016 (as of Nov 30): 369 + 2 Tables of Terrain
User avatar
Primarch
Evil Overlord
 
Posts: 9063
Joined: Fri May 14, 2010 9:33 am
Location: Nagoya

Re: In which Prim pontificates on his particular peculiariti

Postby ashmie on Thu Oct 26, 2017 8:38 am

If you get a chance try to watch Chris Packhams recent program on his own autism. He didn't get diagnosed until his 40's which was surprising. Not saying you have autism of course but personally speaking I found it really interesting as he talks about his obsession with Kestrals and this did ring a few bells with my own obsessions. I agree with his notion that we shouldn't try to cure these traits but embrace them and use them as a force of good. Very moving programme.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b ... ers-and-me

In terms of the hyper connected world of the internet, I agree. Remember the Palantiri in Middle Earth. The seeing stones. They had to be kept locked away in a tower because that amount of power was seen as destructive to mens minds :) It is!
They are not all accounted for the seeing stones.
Forget about yesterday, don't worry about tomorrow because all that matters is today.
Maggots Michael, you're eating maggots.
User avatar
ashmie
Wargod
 
Posts: 2757
Joined: Mon May 17, 2010 9:08 am

Re: In which Prim pontificates on his particular peculiariti

Postby YellowStreak on Thu Oct 26, 2017 8:44 am

ashmie wrote:Pretty sure I've shared this before but hey it's always a good one for morale

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qEC7dsFlvIE

Following that link led me to this one: https://youtu.be/MqLoLKlbVuU -- which may be a real sign of being obsessive-compulsive!
Minis painted 2016: 330
Vehicles painted 2016: 4
Minis purchased 2016: 336
Vehicles purchased 2016: 2
Minis sold 2016: 128
Prim's painty points: +2.5
User avatar
YellowStreak
Legend
 
Posts: 1090
Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2012 2:57 pm
Location: Nagoya

Next

Return to Life, Things and Stuff - ゲーム以外の話題

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron